like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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