For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
