just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
