i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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