he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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