Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Enjoy the penises
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
