In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
