I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
