So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
