I'm going to jail i love you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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