Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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