I think I died a long time ago.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize