I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
