and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
