Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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