In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
