Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude i'm inner monologue high
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
