I feel like I'm in dance class right now
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
