You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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