I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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