garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it hurts more in the daytime
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize