When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
