so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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