so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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