i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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