Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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