Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
