I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
