haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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