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You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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