erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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