What a fucking waste of an outfit
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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