I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
