Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
