I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
