Non-Jews are for practice
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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