I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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