I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
