you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
