I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
