Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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