drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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