Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
