Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And then he peed in my hair
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