another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
