just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
