yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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