no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
