Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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