What a fucking waste of an outfit
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
