She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The power of my boobs compel you
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
