Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
