brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
