so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
