I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
