Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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