I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
