i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
