I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
