brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
