I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hope mine doesn't look like that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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