your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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