It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
